Wednesday, June 29, 2005

The Adoption of Rum

I was adopted into the Byrne family. I've had many traumatic experiences. I was mislead into believing that I was going home with Suzie Byrne and she was going to be my new mistress. Instead I was disappointed and taken into the care of Peter Byrne. I have grown to love him, but I feel that he uses me.

He frequently reminds me that I was abandonned by my real mother. I love Suzie very much and I understand that when I was adopted by the Byrne family, she had to go to university and leave me in the care of Peter Byrne. I miss her very much.

Peter often reminds me that I'm a very ugly cat. And that when he came to adopt me, I was the only kitten left in my litter and this is due to the fact that I everybody else thought that I was too ugly. For those who do not know me, I am a girl cat. But, I have a beard and a moustache.

My other distinguishing features include white socks and a white tip on the end of my tail. Peter often reminds me that I'm very special because not many cats have a white tip on the end of their tail.

However, I do love my family, especially when Suzie comes home to visit me. I don't like it so much when Tommy comes home to visit me, because he puts me in cat jail. These jails may consist of: solitary confinement in the laundry basket; a really cold place the only a cat could fit; and even a place he refers to as "the magic trick". Sometimes I have to hide under the bed for very long times to avoid Tommy.

Another interesting thing about me is that I am a very long cat. This was discovered when I was a kitten, and Peter and Suzie insisted on stretching me. When I got my hysterectomy, Suzie and Peter were advised to stop stretching me. I was relieved. However, this short amnesty ended very soon, and now that I'm fully recovered, the stretching continues.

I also have lots of other tricks, including the penguin, the gun shot, and when Suzie tries to wrap me around her neck. I will elaborate on these tricks at a later date, I have to see my psychologist to prepare for those postings.

I will leave you here for now,

RUMMY

. . O
O _ O
. (_)

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rummy you are a very cleaver cat..

8:28 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rummy you are a very cleaver cat..

8:29 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rummy I believe you have a best friend called Beau.Can you tell us a bit about him as I know you love him very much

11:05 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rummy,

You seem to be quite a contradiction: I understand that your name is 'Rum Tum Tiger' but you are a girl! You also have had a histerectemy. Not much 'Rum Tum Tiger' about that!

Do you feel that your owner 'Peter' violated you by making you have a histerectemy? I understand that his last and late friend Rex did not have to have such an operation and that he would sometimes get quite excited. Do you resent him for this in any way?

Your familiy seems very weird!

2:29 pm  
Blogger Ug said...

Rummy, there have been some allegations that you have a bit of a weight problem. I have heard that once you ate a whole packet of cat food. Is this true, and what do you think about it?

Ug

4:46 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rummy you little fat arse you sound as if you have the undrcarriage of a 8 month pregnant cow. Tommy sounds like a legend and i think cat Jail is a wonderful idea and one that should be practiced regularly until then Jonas Bjorkman walks on water.

10:13 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rummy you sound like an unfortunate looking cat, have you considered doing something about your undercarriage? Rummy has this undercarriage come of age or is it hereditory?

10:51 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Where do people come up with this?

7:21 pm  

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